CounselorBarb's Blog

Hello!

I have just completed the process of revamping my website, and so my blog is now integrated with my website! This blog will no longer be maintained. To access the new blog, please visit counselorbarb.com/blog.

Recently I attended a lunch where Pam Iorio, former mayor of my home city, Tampa, spoke. She said something absolutely brilliant that she should patent: “Chart your own course.” Only I hope she hasn’t yet because I want to use it in this post.

So you need to know where you are going. What are your biggest goals? Are your current day-to-day activities meeting these goals?

Only you hold the steering wheel of your life. Others may try to direct you. If you don’t chart your own course, others will. Do you really want other people determining the direction of your life?

As Ms. Iorio states, she had five strategic goals during her tenure, and said “no” to any activity that didn’t support these five goals. How do I remember that she had five? She repeated it at least four times in her speech. This woman knows her course.

I reflect upon this as I sit here this morning trying to figure out what to do first. Just this morning alone, I had two places I needed to be at the same time. I had to ask myself, which activity most directly supports my goals? And, I had to let one of them go. Unfortunately it was the “fun” one. Then, immediately after that, I received two invitations for two things that sound great, but don’t directly contribute to my goals. Yep, “no” to both of those as well.

I then started thinking about all of the times I say “no.” It’s frequent. I usually feel somewhat guilty…but I cannot be in two places at the same time, and I cannot say yes to every invitation that comes along or I won’t make progress toward what is important to ME. I also need down time. Yes, down time contributes to my long-term goals because it allows me to recharge and go on to accomplish more.

So, what are your goals? Are you charting your own course, or allowing others to lead you? Do you spend your time reacting to other people’s demands, or making your own?

Now, back to that dissertation I’ve been postponing…

In my first radio broadcast, I am interviewed by Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird on sexual desire, particularly differing sexual drives between partners.  I cite research, as well as provide suggestions for bridging this divide.  Listen now:

People ask me all of the time if I accept insurance. The answer is “no”. I have many reasons for this, with most of them centered around my clients’ well-being.

One of the major reasons I don’t accept insurance is that I would need to code you, as my client, with a psychological disorder. This is required by the insurance companies. Yes, I have to not only tell them that you are “crazy”, but what type of “crazy”. But it doesn’t stop there. This diagnosis goes into your permanent medical records, which are supposed to be kept confidential. However, as we know, technology is a lot of wonderful things; secure and confidential not always among those wonderful things. For every password-protected system there is a hacker who has made it his/her personal mission to enter. Just the fact that your records are “out there” places you at additional risk. Not to mention the legal and legitimate searches, which means you could get denied coverage in the future for a “pre-existing condition”. To sum it up, the diagnosis is permanently and centrally recorded, and could therefore be discovered by others.

Yet, even I was surprised to read about CNN’s Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen, who discovered that ALL of her private medical information was actually online! Yep, it was all on the internet! All it took was her social security number, birthday, and address. Right there in black and white was every medical diagnosis and treatment from 2003! According to Dr. Steven Schwaltzberg, associate professor of surgery at Harvard Medical School, “There is more information out there about people than could ever possibly be realized.”

So, my refusal to accept insurance is in great part to help you protect information you may not have known required protection.

For CNN’s full article click here.